I want to rant.

My frustration looms over the happier things in my life. A black cloud of dissatisfaction roils through my mind, tarnishing the thoughts it touches.

I want to vent, but I don't want to spew the kind of invective boiling within me near my friends. ("Thank you" to the friends I did vent to.)

I would rant to perfect strangers, but then everybody would think I was crazy. (I might actually be crazy if I start ranting to perfect strangers.)

I will blog, although I have blogged about most of my discontent already. Ummm, I guess I did blog about everything that's bothering me already. At least, everything that I can post in a public forum.

Let me reiterate;

Living a nightmare.
My hours at school are worse than the nightmare ever was. I can't wake up. I actually pinched myself while taking a midterm today, to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. I could have taken this test when I was eight and passed. I tried to talk to the teacher to see if I could take more challenging and/or useful courses next quarter, and was informed that there weren't any. I hate college more than I did high school.

Squashed idea.
My friend is still dead. I know this fact will not change, but part of me still hasn't come to terms with it. I drive past his house every day on the way to school. I always glance over to see if his car is there, and then have to remind myself that it's not going to be there. Ever.

#@##%!! Car!
The electrical problems my car was having went from intermittent, to problematical, and then to catastrophic. I'm tempted to 'fix' it with a lit match and some gasoline. I'm now driving a borrowed car, until I can get mine fixed or put in a shallow grave.